Ugh. This is completely sucky.
I hostess-ed a card party tonight, where I coerced all of my guests to play cards with me [because I get lonely sometimes] and eat brownies.
However, while making the brownies a disaster occurred, in the form of a baking substitution. Here's the scoop. I was out of baking chocolate, so I substituted the usual three tablespoons baking cocoa + two tablespoon oil for every ounce needed. However, we were also out of vegetable oil, and grapeseed oil. So I ended up using olive oil.
Bad idea.
Absolutely disgusting. And I actually fed them to my guests! I'm completely surprised they didn't get up and LEAVE!
This was last night of course.
Today was another not so happy day. I worked from 9:30-6:00. No problems there, had there been a more exciting schedule. No fake. I suppose it would have been nicer had I not also screwed up whilst closing.
To further the series of unfortunate events, my AP test scores came back, and once again, I'm only average. Quite literally. Of the three tests I took, I scored a scant 3 on each. That's absolutely pathetic. Why, when I work my trash off in two of those three classes, do I only score average? Hooray for episodes. Exactly what I needed at this time in my life, another episode set off by something so stupid as a test score. But it's not really that stupid. How am I supposed to be accepted into medical school if on my MCATs I score only average? Why would they want someone average in their school? Why would anyone want only an average surgeon or psychiatrist? It's junk like this that makes me want to say "Screw it, I'm going to be a cosmetologist." Who knows. I could likely get into that school. Psh. With my luck I'd suck at that as well. I'd probably use some product a person's allergic to and they'd go into anaphylactic shock and die. Great. Wouldn't that be ideal. Not to mention if I can't even do my own makeup why would anyone else want me to do theirs? Logical.
Great. Now I'm just being whiny. I can't help it. I feel insignifigant to what I think that I am. I feel sub-par to my platonic conception of myself. I don't measure up to the standards I've created in my head. However, my pride is restricting me from changing them, and not making them so high. Then I'd be a failure. However, I appear to be failing now, so what would be the difference? At least then my goals might be attainable. But they are now. However, they seem not to be. Whatev. Cheers.
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Seriously, don't worry about it. The level of intelligence a person has cannot be solely based on tests, sorry. Some people (ahem, ME) are not great test-takers AT ALL, and yet they are fairly smart people who can walk out of a class and tell you what they've learned about all year. This is where I believe there are flaws in the education system. We know that not everybody learns in the same way, so how can we try to make everyone prove they have learned the material in the same way? Not that it will ever change, but still...you should not feel bad. Especially since you've gone through an AP course, it is obvious to anyone that you are smart.
ReplyDeleteAn above-average work-ethic is much more important than above-average test scores.
ReplyDeleteJust talk to Josh about his first AP Chemistry score. He didn't do so hot. Yet he has four degrees in chemical engineering, and graduated with the highest of honors each time.
Don't fret yourself over things which are not yet even on the horizon (e.g., MCAT or medical school). Take one day at a time.
Oh you whiny teenage seacow ;D You know a crapload more about biology and anatomy and junk like that than anyone I know so don't even worry about that. Plus I may be mistaken, but I think that the 3 tests you took were in Music Theory, History and English, none of which really apply to your dream so who even cares?
ReplyDeleteOn another note entirely, Kenny once made some brownies for us two with that same recipe. At first it was quite grody but after you've eaten half the pan for lack of any other food it's actually not all that bad