Wired, Tired and Explications

I suppose if I stopped drinking this Wired a few hours ago I wouldn't be so wired.... However, I failed to time my fake energy surge, as I needed it to do my homework this evening, but failed to coordinate my homework with the surge. How cute....

This morning [as usual] I felt like I got hit by a bus, and probably will tomorrow morning as well, due to the excessive hours of an irresponsible teen-aged high schooler. Sigh. Oh my pathetic life that's going nowhere.... Ironically, my mom clipped out an article from the paper with a headline of "Late Nights Linked to Teen Suicides." I wonder if she's trying to tell me something.... Something along the lines of.... GO TO BED! But I still have to shower....

Unfortunately, I'm not flawless, and one of those areas is skin. Ick! I wish on all that's holy that I had perfect skin, but I'm far from it. I can literally say that I've tried everything. Currently, I'm on something that I swear is a detriment to my skin. I stopped taking it a few weeks ago, and voila, better skin [comparably] than whilst on it. However, when I told my derm MD this, he insisted that I continue to take it. Sigh.... The five days that I've taken it this year have been hell days for my skin. It's awful again! I WANT to trust my derm MD, but he's NOT! seeing how my skin is relapsing into oober disgustingness as soon as I start taking the Rx again. Bleh. Also, he's been hinting at Accutane for awhile, but my rents are adamant to take every rout BESIDES something that may be the most effective medication I've ever taken. I'm certain they're against it to the point of bringing up my depression [which they refuse to accept on their own], to let my derm MD know that I'm a manic-depressive. Yes, one of THOSE.... Sorry, you can stop reading if you like. But if you've been keeping up [with the sporadic posts..... :D] you probably already knew that. Anywho, leave it be said, I understand they're concerned with potential heightened depression, but why would they wait six years to tell anyone? And why would they only get me help if an MD told them to help me? Can they not see that it's a major issue, and has been for a number of years? Good grief, I don't understand how they can see their princess cut as a clear cry for help, yet not say anything other than I need to snap out of it. As if.

Tomorrow [technically today] is due an explication essay on a poem, for English. P.S. Since I've started to date my guy, my English has taken the back seat, as it mirrors his. Awkward, I know. So if I go Yoda on you, that's why. Anywho, that's what I was utilizing the Wired for. Mm.... Delicious.... But please, hold your criticism of energy drinks until a later date, as I already know of the potential hazards and ill-effects. In any case, I greatly dislike analyzing the author's intent of poems, as well as the format, mood, tone, diction, blah blah blah. I have a difficult enough time analyzing my own poetry, and trying to figure out what it means, how I feel about it, why I used the words I did, what I want it to say to the world, and who the speaker is, let alone someone else's. It's nothing less than a psychological analysis of the poet and the speaker, and I don't feel qualified, and much less justified, in trying to do so. Billy Collins's "Introduction to Poetry" mirrors my opinion. Ironically, the first time I read that poem, we were doing the exact opposite of what he so politely requested, and we were trying to find a meaning to it, and why he used the words he did, and blah blah blah. Mega FAIL!

Anywho.... Adding techno to my mix isn't helping me feel more tired in the least.... I suppose now I know what to do the next time I need to pull an all-nighter, not that I was planning one for tonight. I suppose if I go shower maybe I'll zap some energy out. Hot water always drains you. Pardon the pun. Well, it wasn't a pun unless you're a pasta. Hahahaha.... I'm too much for even me. No wonder I'm the way I am. :D Cheers!