The After Effects of Wired, Taxes and Fake Meat

Well.... May I add that I was up for forty hours after during the last post? It wasn't just the day then come home and nap. I went out, did my thing, and worked until 8, as usual. I also had plans for that night, which I neglected, as I was about to DIE! when I got home. So I ate some food, brushed my teeth, washed my face [like there's a need for that....], and CRASHED! The 15 minutes in between phone calls seemed like four hours. It was remarkable.... Happily, I still have [most of] my brain cells. [:

I got my W2s a few days ago. Now I just need to fill them out.... Bleh! I have until April 14th, right?

Last night my guy and I [mostly just him] made dinner for my rents and some family. However, because SOMEONE'S vegetarian, the whole pork chorizo thing didn't really work out. Luckily, Smart Dogs has a soy chorizo, which I gracefully let the rest of my family try, and they all came into agreement that it tasted like spicy cardboard. I didn't think they were awful. The dish they were in was absolutely fantastic. Of course I can't pronounce it without fear of totally botching it, but it was delicious. Maybe I'll ask him to spell it for me.... My thing is, I don't have a reason to be vegetarian, other than I like to be. Because of this, I stopped eating meat. So I dont' understand why I would eat fake meat instead, if I stopped eating meat for no reason. Sure, it's a major source of protein, but I like my soy in other forms, primarily smoothies and pudding. OMG! The chocolate tofu pudding is spectacular... You can't even tell there's tofu in it. That's coming from me, a foodie. It's not that my tastebuds are overly developed, it's that my brain distinguishes flavors, smells, and sounds well. Weird, huh? Hahaha.... My brain is at least good for SOMETHING, right?

Anywho, I think my bed is calling me back.... I'm zapped.... Cheers! :D

Wired, Tired and Explications

I suppose if I stopped drinking this Wired a few hours ago I wouldn't be so wired.... However, I failed to time my fake energy surge, as I needed it to do my homework this evening, but failed to coordinate my homework with the surge. How cute....

This morning [as usual] I felt like I got hit by a bus, and probably will tomorrow morning as well, due to the excessive hours of an irresponsible teen-aged high schooler. Sigh. Oh my pathetic life that's going nowhere.... Ironically, my mom clipped out an article from the paper with a headline of "Late Nights Linked to Teen Suicides." I wonder if she's trying to tell me something.... Something along the lines of.... GO TO BED! But I still have to shower....

Unfortunately, I'm not flawless, and one of those areas is skin. Ick! I wish on all that's holy that I had perfect skin, but I'm far from it. I can literally say that I've tried everything. Currently, I'm on something that I swear is a detriment to my skin. I stopped taking it a few weeks ago, and voila, better skin [comparably] than whilst on it. However, when I told my derm MD this, he insisted that I continue to take it. Sigh.... The five days that I've taken it this year have been hell days for my skin. It's awful again! I WANT to trust my derm MD, but he's NOT! seeing how my skin is relapsing into oober disgustingness as soon as I start taking the Rx again. Bleh. Also, he's been hinting at Accutane for awhile, but my rents are adamant to take every rout BESIDES something that may be the most effective medication I've ever taken. I'm certain they're against it to the point of bringing up my depression [which they refuse to accept on their own], to let my derm MD know that I'm a manic-depressive. Yes, one of THOSE.... Sorry, you can stop reading if you like. But if you've been keeping up [with the sporadic posts..... :D] you probably already knew that. Anywho, leave it be said, I understand they're concerned with potential heightened depression, but why would they wait six years to tell anyone? And why would they only get me help if an MD told them to help me? Can they not see that it's a major issue, and has been for a number of years? Good grief, I don't understand how they can see their princess cut as a clear cry for help, yet not say anything other than I need to snap out of it. As if.

Tomorrow [technically today] is due an explication essay on a poem, for English. P.S. Since I've started to date my guy, my English has taken the back seat, as it mirrors his. Awkward, I know. So if I go Yoda on you, that's why. Anywho, that's what I was utilizing the Wired for. Mm.... Delicious.... But please, hold your criticism of energy drinks until a later date, as I already know of the potential hazards and ill-effects. In any case, I greatly dislike analyzing the author's intent of poems, as well as the format, mood, tone, diction, blah blah blah. I have a difficult enough time analyzing my own poetry, and trying to figure out what it means, how I feel about it, why I used the words I did, what I want it to say to the world, and who the speaker is, let alone someone else's. It's nothing less than a psychological analysis of the poet and the speaker, and I don't feel qualified, and much less justified, in trying to do so. Billy Collins's "Introduction to Poetry" mirrors my opinion. Ironically, the first time I read that poem, we were doing the exact opposite of what he so politely requested, and we were trying to find a meaning to it, and why he used the words he did, and blah blah blah. Mega FAIL!

Anywho.... Adding techno to my mix isn't helping me feel more tired in the least.... I suppose now I know what to do the next time I need to pull an all-nighter, not that I was planning one for tonight. I suppose if I go shower maybe I'll zap some energy out. Hot water always drains you. Pardon the pun. Well, it wasn't a pun unless you're a pasta. Hahahaha.... I'm too much for even me. No wonder I'm the way I am. :D Cheers!

Moderation, Resolutions and Failure To Comply

Most religions agree that all things should be used in moderation, aside from the religion itself. Ironic. Probably why I'm closer to renouncing religion than not. In any case, I feel one of the most valid applications of this principle is with sugar and food consumption. I'll admit some particularly sensitive stuff in this post, so you are warned.

I'm a foodie. Yes, a foodie. Funny to hear that coming from a vegetarian, which slightly limits the food I can judge, but at least I know I won't get trichinosis or salmonella. Also, this way I don't have to encounter weird stuff like slugs with fish eggs. Acquired taste, HA! Only because some people are dumb enough to keep eating it until they've convinced themselves they ENJOY it!

But I shouldn't really say that, as I've slowly acquired a taste for braised tofu. Not really a taste, but more of a texture. Or lack of. Or just preference for mush. At least if I lose all my teeth I'll still get my protein.... Hahaha.

Aside from my aside, because I never make any new years' resolutions, I decided to make one this year, and depressingly, I broke it before I even resolved to do it, and then promptly after I made it, this being to moderate my obsessive sugar intake. While I've done it before for almost a year, I haven't managed to harness it yet. I believe sunshine will help with that. If it ever comes back. What's the point of it expanding and engulfing our planet if it won't even keep us warm now? Ha.....

Because of my broken resolutions, I've become motivated to.... Well, nothing in particular. I've dropped most motivation to anything besdides physical appearance and talent. Cards are grouped with talent, right?

I've almost devoted myself to getting more sleep, but so far I haven't been able to fully commit. But I'm still a good person, fret not.

Seeing as my mind totally blanked [probably from lack of sleep; I'm still on vacation sleep schedule, which is probably why it stinks so much dragging my sorry carcass out of bed at 6:30 am], I suppose I'll peace out and leave you to your lives again. Cheers! :D

P.S. I'm a fan of this picture. Comments?

Age, Time and the Age Time Continuum

Well. It's official. I'm a horrible blogger. But more excitingly, there's less than two months until my birthday. Five weeks and one day to be exact, but who's counting? Seriously.... ME! :D This has to be one of my most exciting birthdays yet, and I don't even have anything planned. How does that work? Maybe because.... I'll be able to buy cigarettes and lotto tickets. Huzzah.... Totally kidding. Though I MAY go sky-diving.... Just because I can.... Or will be able to....

Apparently it's 2010. Does that make anybody else feel.... Well.... Old?! AH! ME! The cute little kid! Almost a real adult! Gasp. That's frightening. That means I can't to TPing anymore. Or at all. I suppose since I've never done it.... And it will be illegal soon.... Who's free in the next 5 weeks? Hahaha.... I make myself laugh far too often. Most people don't understand. But my brain works in a weird way, to where I get what I'm thinking [most of the time], but since no one else sees my thoughts, they don't understand why I'm hilarious. I suppose I jump to too many atypical conclusions. I.E. What do you get when you cross an jelly-bean and a question? What do you mean jelly-bean?

Because I'm getting so old, time appears to be quickening its pace. I haven't yet come to accept it.... I'm drowning in denial. I'm floundering in doubt. I'm chained in disbelief. I haven't even adjusted to writing 2010 on anything. Good thing I have a stock of white-out at my desk, and good thing insurances are lenient on the amount of it acceptable on the HICF forms. Hahaha.... In case you've forgotten, I work as a receptionist/optician, and do LOTS of insurance forms and phone calls. Huzzah! And it's still amazing. [:

I'm also in a new relationship. Well, not new. Over a month old! But more recent that not. Things are going extremely well. He's absolutely amazing. Maybe if you're lucky you'll get a picture. Maybe.

I suppose that wraps it up.

No, no it doesn't.

My little brother turns 21 today, and will be coming home in exactly six weeks and four days. I hope things have improved in our relationship. I was able to talk with him on Christmas, though it was at 6 am our time. Ick! No worries though, we had a nice conversation. For the third time in our existance. The first two were Christmas and Mothers' Day the year before. How weird is that? I'm better friends with his friends than I was with him. Hopefully that's changed, and we've both grown up. Time will tell....

Mm ok. That really does wrap it up. [: Cheers my lovelies!

Wastes of My Life, Pine and Carbs

Welcome to December, the ultimate waste of time. I believe with the exception of a few birthdays and some stupid holiday break, this month is utterly worthless. It's cold, it's ugly, and it's hard to run in. It also has few positives.

One that I have found however, would be the lovely smell of dying pine trees, as we've cut them down to make wreaths and Christmas trees. Not that my family does either, as we're mostly sCrooges [with the exception of my sister and some brothers, I think], but my office has become especially festive. The behemoth of a wreath hanging behind my desk is intoxicating scent wise. I'm shocked I can even function it's so overwhelmingly delicious.

As for holiday break, if my family and guy didn't celebrate Christmas [to some extent], I don't believe I would take the time to. Not that there's anything wrong with extensive commercialism or anything, I just prefer to sleep. Lots.

In dealing with partial days of school, I actually try not to. Were they in the afternoon, then I may be more inclined to attend. However, as they're starting at 7:50 am, and mine ends around 10, It's not even worth it to take the time to wake up, get pretty, warm my car up, pick out clothes, etc. etc. just to go for two hours. LAME! So, I've decided that I'll just be staying home. What really stings is that the absence is counted an entire day. Ouch!

Also unfortunately, I become the carb monster. Cookie Monster has nothing on me.... Nevertheless, the winter brings sweet and carb-ie cravings. SO BAD FOR WHEN THE SUMMER RUNNING COMES! Meh....

Anywho, I suppose I'll go do something about my pathetic and miserable life. Cheers. Or something.

Thanksgiving, The Flying M, and Jim Gaffigan

Huzzah!

It's Thanksgiving! My first set of vegetarian holidays. [: This should be definitely interesting, but I'm still excited.

Yesterday I spent the day with two good friends of mine at the Flying M coffee house. Very fun, very fun.

Anywho, the highlight of my week [one of them] is my renewed appreciation for one of my favorite comedians Jim Gaffigan.... Particularly cake, bacon, and ordering food. "I didn't know I was getting a magic salad...."

I think I'll be out to finish [or start] my college app essays... Huzzah! :D Cheers.

Annual Morning Sickness, Movies and Homework

Welcome back to the world of throwing up in the morning, and gradually feeling better throughout the day. Some would blame it on pregnancy. I, however, know better. It's simply a reaction to a bazaar tweak in my innards. Every year.

Anywho, as I've been unable to get up in the morning [and keep my contents], I've missed a few days of school. Tragically, all of my classes are morning classes, as I only attend school for four periods of the six. Fail.... Because of this, I spend the majority of my sick time watching movies. Blah.... I know, I know. My brain is melting. But hey, I've developed a greater appreciation for Pixar. Love them.... [:

However, I've neglected to obtain my homework from school. Luckily, I have great friends at school that are willing to hunt and gather my junk AND! bring it to me. My friends rock.

Hopefully this whole morning sickness thing leaves. Not that this isn't the second year in a row. And oddly enough, I haven't thrown up at all this round. I've just been terribly nauseous. Huzzah! We're making progress! :D I hope. Cheers!

Grey Grey GREY!!!!

I would just like to inform the world that I've been finding more GREY hairs in my hair than I would like.

AHHHH!!!!

Grey Eyes, Grey Skies and Color My Life Red

In the past few weeks, I've failed to mention that I bought grey contacts. They. Are. Magnificent. Of course, I say that because I notice eyes immediately in regards to people. However, it seems that few reciprocate. I'm sure you're aware of when a person looks, actually looks, into you eyes. It's not creepy [most of the time], it's likely in search of something. But I've noticed how very few people take eyes seriously.

It may have something to do with being an optician, maybe it's always been a fascination of mine. In any case, people notice something different when I wear colored contacts, but they can't typically place what it is. Happily, my eyes seem to suck fewer souls when grey. Whatever that means. [:

During winter, there is rarely a blue sky. Here at least. I hate it. I love grey, more than any other color. I love concrete. I love a concrete jungle. I love a grey sky over a concrete jungle. BUT! Grey is usually associated with cold. As it has been here.

Hopefully my eyes aren't cold.

Walk through this winter, no scrapes or scabs.

Walk through this winter, on to next spring.

Cheers. [:

November, Ice and Nail Polish

Huzzah, it's November.

Not much is new, except for my neglected blog.... ]: Tears, I know.

In any case, 13 weeks until my birthday, which equates to 13 weeks until I'm legally FREE!!! No, not that kind silly. :D

Life with my guy is great. I'm glad I have him, and hopefully I mean as much to him as he does to me. No fake.

I went running this morning for the first time in weeks. Happily, my cough has cleared out to merely an uncomfortable scratch, occasionally. This being, the run was fantastic. All 22:45 minutes of it. [: P.S. It's way cold! I hate the cold, and always have. Especially the way it knifes the back of your esophagus when you try to do anything requiring oxygen. Haha.

I painted my nails again, happily. There seems to be few things as relaxing and enjoyable as nail painting. Well, aside from the vexation of accidentally smudging them. And when you run out of your favorite color. And the smell. And killing all your braincells. And when it chips off. And when it doesn't look right. And when you're in a rush so you have to slap it on regardless of what it looks like. Well. It's mostly enjoyable....?

While I make no promises [in this regard], I'll attempt to frequent my blog-writing-pad more often.

P.S. I finished my college application, and await notice.

Cheers. [:

Cali, Colds and Carob

Well.... At least I have a great excuse for my absence this time.... I was in LA! :D I have to admit though, I didn't have as great of a time as I should have, simply because I felt my guy should have been there too. However, I can't help it if my brother was completely out of his mind to not invite him. Lame sauce.

Anywho, yes, it's true, I saw the ocean whilst there, and it was absolutely fantastic. I. Love. LA. Not that I saw all of it. I was limited to where I could go, because a. I'm female [which equals no wandering alone], b. I'm an attractive female [which equals no wandering alone], c. my resident brother was way too stressed to shower, let alone play tour-guide, d. my family wasn't apt to traveling to the concrete jungle for the most part [which is totally ok, we all had a nice time with what we did do], and e. we were are strapped for time with helping my uber stressed twin to prepare his decorations and jazz. It was crazy! It wasn't entirely worth it to miss some formal events occuring at home but because it was my brother, and my favorite brother at that, I went, looked pretty, and supported him. Well, not that I looked entirely pretty as I cried all my perfect makeup off as I gave my brother away for the second time....

However, I happened to have a cold the entire time I was there. You know, the whole 'hack up your lung and then spit it out before curling up and dying' kind of cold. I still have a little of the sinus crud, so that made it a bit less enjoyable as well. I don't know.... It wasn't that it wasn't enjoyable, it was more like I was in a personal hell which inhibited me from having the time of my life. You know, the whole 'let's have an episode in the middle of the month when I'm supposed to be having a great time' kind of episode. Sort of like a 'I wish the world would just crash, burn, go to hell, and leave me alone' thing. Sort of like 'I wish my guy were here and my brother weren't aloof enough to note that aside from my dad [my mom stayed home because she'd just had emergency surgery that split open and removed half of her], I should have had my guy there.... Next time.... Anywho, pictures should be on my facebook soon, but maybe I'll tease you with something.... :D

Lately, I've been all hyped about sugar, because it's entirely wonderful. But, really it's not. It's not even half wonderful! Except for the immediate ecstacy it produces. However, I've noticed that I'm an absolute sugar addict.... No kidding either. Once I start, it's like I have no desire to quit, until I get so disgustingly sick enough to say "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" As a result, through the years I've quit sugar, and promptly failed to keep that resolution due to the temptress unregulated by the FDA.... However, I've discovered Carob, a chocolate substitute. That, and super dark chocolate [which I adore, because it's more chocolate than sugar/cream/pollutants]. This way, I still get oodles of chocolate, with not as much sugar. Brilliant, isn't it? I know. :D I'm jazzed. I suppose I'll be out to get ready. For what, I'm not sure yet.... Maybe... an adventure? We'll see. Cheers! :D

The Demise of Cross Country, One Cough and A Few Bland Essays

There's nothing more enjoyable to me than running.

That's a complete lie.

There are many things that are much more enjoyable.

However, none so dear.

Because of the massive amounts of time cross country was taking up, I felt obligated to drop it, merely to continue my life in a not-as-stressed fashion.

I cried for many hours over it.

I still run.

I wish I could run with the team.

One benefit, however, is that I now can do "fun-runs," or city sponsored 5ks without getting kicked off the team. I know, it's ridiculous, but whilst on the school team we weren't allowed to participate in any races that weren't school approved. Heaven forbid someone bring something illicit, to a group of aspiring athletes. Well.... On second thought, if an Olympic athlete does, who knows about a bunch of us....

Anywho, I've developed a cough in the last two weeks. Has it been that long since I've blogged? Holy smokes. Just about. In any case, it's driven me CRAZY! It didn't even have any substance until a few days ago, when my lungs finally relinquished their phlegmy prisoners. Quite disgusting. Now I not only have a raw pharynx, but I'm also lung-booger-coating it in addition. Attractive. I know.

In other news, I've needed to write a few essays for my English class. Ironically, they incorporated blogging. Not so ironically, they really suck. HELP! I KNOW I'M NOT A GOOD WRITER! HOW CAN I IMPROVE?!

Feel free to hit me up with any advice you want to throw at me. {: AND DON'T MAKE IT GENTLE! I want hard, sound, logical advice. :D Cheers!

Silverwood, 5ks and Chocolate Cake

Wow!

That's pretty much it.

Just kidding. {: You've missed me too much for me to only share that.

No really. I went to northern Idaho this weekend with my xc team. Holy cow! A bunch of running junkies crammed into a bus for 9 hours is NOT! the happiest ride I've ever taken! So much for doing my homework on the bus.... :D Anywho, the race we ran was in Silverwood theme park. We camped [quite literally] at the campgrounds across from the park, and the next morning ran behind the park in the weird terrain of it. No, we didn't get to run through the park proper. We just played in it after the race....

I have to admit. I'm almost proud of the time I ran this particular 5k in. It was a really great race course. I don't know if it was the course, or the fact that I kept my smiles and thumbs in, but I shaved 4 minutes off my 30:24 down to a 26:35. PSYCHE! Who knew I could ever run a 5k in such a time? My goal is to get it below 25, at least, if not lower. However, I'm still aware that it's ridiculously slow. BUT! I'm still excited. {: Hooray! Might I add that the number one of the varsisty girls ran it in 18:05. CRAZY! I watched her for the majority of the race, and she was about 12 yards in front of the second the entire time. She was amazing. P.S. I'm on JV. But not for long.

Happily, for dinner we were all supposed to dress funky. Of course I pulled out my green vinyl miniskirt, lumberjack t-shirt, boyscout shirt, red vinyl belt, red converse, fishnets, tube socks, and FANGS! You heard me. Unfortunately, I forgot my sill hat.... Sad day! It was a great night regardless. Perhaps I'll steal pictures from the facebook xc site. Haha.... I'm so resourceful....

Ironically, on the bus ride home today my good friend and I bought chocolate cake. How runner-ish of us. It was one instance where I would have gladly taken a glass of skim milk. Yes. You just heard me say that. Chocolate cake and PB&A zammiches are pretty much the only exception to my loathing of milk. :D Love me.... Anywho, I'd best go de-carb somehow other than running. Maybe I'll just amp on protein. HA! There's a novel idea. {: I've missed you guys.... Cheers!

Sleep, Homecoming and Birds

Seeing as school has started again [um yeah, pretty much a week ago....], I'm not surprised that my sleep has been reduced from the already too little before it started. Oh well. So if you catch me snoozing once I sit down, that's likely why.

While I thought that I stretched adequately post race on Friday, I've discovered [in the most uncomfortable manner] that I did not. Note to self: Stretch until you almost break, then stretch some more. You'll feel better. The next day.

Recently, I learned that our Homecoming dance is on the same weekend as one of our big races. Great. Two things I love. Formals and races. How am I to choose? Awkwardly, I decided to go to Homecoming. Because I had that lined up, I was sorely disappointed to be informed that it happens to also be the same weekend as my brother's wedding in LA. SAD DAY! I was so looking forward to Homecoming! Now I'm missing it twice; one for the race, the second for the wedding. I'm inclined to not go, simply so I can stay home and go to the dance. Seriously. They all got to experience their homecomings. And yet I won't. Sob story.

Outside my window the cacophony of birds is unnerving. I suppose I'll be out to straighten my hair and go on a picknic with my other half. I love him.... {: Cheers!

School, Work and Races

Well, I suppose now that school is in session I have a legit excuse to not be blogging so much. It's not that I'm out doing blog worthy things, unless you love reading about the monotony of homework. Hey, if that's your fancy, more power to you. The world needs more geeks like you. [; No really. It's more that I'm out doing homework, and running, and working, and not having enough time to see my other half. It's tragic really. Before school started up again we were spending the majority of time together, quite happily. Now that I'm away most of the time, life is ridiculously lonely. That's not to say I don't have enough to do without him, but I'd prefer to be with him than what I'm currently doing. I.E. The next five months. This could be long.

Happily, I have the most amazing employers, who are completely willing to work with my insane schedule, comprised specifically of school and cross country. In reciprocating, I've opted to take a work release class to where I'm available at 1:00 p.m., instead of the typical 3:00 p.m. when school usually gets out. However, because of xc, I'm available only from 1-3, and 6-8. I know, it's odd. The best part about this situation is after xc is over, I'll be available from 1-8 consecutively if they want me. Hooray!

Yesterday was the first 5k I've done in my entire life. While the time wasn't magnificent, I was completely proud of myself for a. not stopping at any point, b. maintaining a steady+fast pace the entirety of it, and c. even passing a few chickas. Mostly, I'm amazed that it was so fun. However, my joy was soon broken when after I finished a number of people [coaches and members alike] commented how I wasn't taking it seriously enough, because I was smiling almost the entire time. I'm aware that I shouldn't take it so personally, but to be immediately cut after feeling so accomplished and moving my trash out for the last 3.1 miles was a bit more disheartening than I expected. Also, I knew my parents wouldn't be there, which was completely understandable, but once the race was over and I saw most of the other kids with their rents so proud of them my heart sank a little more. I suppose now I'm just whining. Initially I considered dropping the team. But I've trained so hard to just quit. I couldn't rationalize it. I still can't. But I don't particularly want to be part of a team that doesn't even smile. Input anyone?

I suppose now I'm out to shower for work. I just got back about ten minutes ago from another run. I now understand why people think distance runners are crazy. Because they are. Who runs a 5k and then less than 8 hours later go run another 45 minutes? Cheers.