Black Ribbons, Tradition, and The Holiday Season

So... Last night as I was picking out my outfit for church today, I noticed that one of the ribbons on my black shrug had been half mauled by [I assume] my dryer. It was highly disappointing, because as it was, it was exactly the length I needed in order for it to be able to tie not only in the front, but also to wrap around to the back and still be long enough to tie. Because of the awful knotted chewed up mess in the ribbon, I sadly had to chop it off and tie a knot in the strand. To be non discriminate, I also did that to the other one. Now they're only able to be tied in the front. No biggie. It will all work out I suppose.

Truthfully, I haven't been to church in a few months. Don't judge me or try to talk to me about it, because I don't want to hear it. There aren't any specific reasons for it, so don't even think about it, because it's irrelevant. The point being, the only reason I went today is because I had been asked to play a musical number in Sacrament meeting. I didn't really want to, but you can't really say no when some lady calls and flatters you into playing. I was pretty unpsyched to play, but I was relatively indifferent about it all the same. I must admit that I have a minimal anxiety problem when it comes to playing for the church congregation, regardless of size. Once theology is thrown into a performance, my world is rocked and it's difficult for me to preform. The same goes with church music. I won't say that I dislike it, because I don't. However, it happens to be the hardest genre of music for me to sightread, practice, and perform. Throw that in with the odd shakes I get when performing in church, and what you get is a completely slaughtered rendition of a piece or hymn that should have been beautiful, but wasn't. Luckily, with training, I've learned to refrain from making faces when I screw up. That gives the congregation a little less of a hint as to why the music sounds so awful. Finally, when it was over, I walked quickly back to my seat by my mother. I was lucky that we sat where we did, because had we sat any farther back, the tears welling up in my brain would have spewed out uncontrollably. I know. Why tears? It's always been a tradition of mine to cry after a performance, regardless of quality. That's not to say that there won't be other reasons for crying, but it's inevitable that after I play something I cry. In this case, there was more than just tradition to cry about. The fact that I'd botched one of the world's favorite hymns was definitely something to tear up about. Not only that, but anyone who told me how well I did made me feel even worse, because I knew how well I could have done, and how I'd cheated them out of a great piece. Because of that, I cried even more. The lady sitting next to us didn't make me feel any better either. In essence what she said was "...Even though you made a few clunkers nobody knew..." Well, obviously they did, or else they wouldn't have said so. Gosh people say stupid stuff when it's least helpful.

In reference to the disagreements about California's Prop. 8 and the election of our new president, I think it would be helpful if our family stopped talking about it, because obviously it's just a venue leading to argument and ill-feelings. I personally feel that obesity is as much a situation as homosexuality and abortion. Until you have control of your own lives, I don't think that it's right to degrade others', especially when your situations may not be ideal either. Obesity and gluttony are on the same ethical level in my opinion as homosexuality and killing babies. Consider your words and actions as well as situations before you demean someone else and their's. PLEASE!

With the coming of November, there has been a dramatic increase in holiday cheer and spirit. There's nothing wrong with that, unless you're a Scrooge like me. Then it's absolutely asinine and annoying. The entire season. Whatever. People can celebrate their holidays however they want to. I'm done with ranting about how stupid they are, and how stupid the holidays are. Cheers.