Thursday, November 20, 2008

Flying Mule Kicks, ID Badgers, and Twlight

Sometimes I think I have an anxiety disorder. Other times I think I have OCD. Most of the time I like to think that I'm completely normal. Then stuff like this happens, and I realize that I'm nowhere near "normal," as defined by the DSM-IV-Classification guide.

Let's start with the flying mule kicks. No politics involved. The scenario was such that I was sitting in my sixth hour AP English class [seriously one of my favorite classes ever], during a class reading of some article [I forget which], taking notes and not really paying attention to the surrounding activities of the class. A few minutes into the reading, I start to relax, kick my feet up onto the stool in front of me, and take life easy. Apparently, that wasn't to be. About 0.0000009 seconds later, my teacher [the amiable Mr. Bevis] dropped his tomahawk [more like a broken leg from a desk he ripped apart with his bear hands] onto his podium, directly in front of the stool I was chilling out on. The weapon yielded a blood curdling noise which triggered a response in me, implying my anxiety disorder. My reaction was one of pure terror. What did I do? I slid as much under my desk as quickly as I could, and in the process kicked the stool straight into the podium with such force that it pretty much dented it. Well.... Not really, but it was a serious kick!

Of course the class had been neutral, until my reaction set off a chain reaction of terror within the classroom. Again, not really, but the class's reaction was just about equivalent to mine, in that their's was in jest, while mine was pure defense. I won't say that I didn't blush.

Also in English, we were preparing for the DWA [Laman's terms: the direct writing assessment, which doesn't really assess, due to asinine prompts and the like], by doing a practice DWA. In this case, our prompt was something to the effect of "Write a persuasive essay about your opinion on whether students should be required to wear ID badges at all times on school property." Really now. Who in Hell would write to a prompt like that unless forced to? I have better things to write about! Of course our teacher thought it was an idiotic prompt as well, and decided that if he were to be forced to write on this topic, he would shift it into a malapropism and make it be ID badgers, versus ID badges. If I were to have been grading his paper, I would have given it the highest grade possible, for a few reasons, one being a sense of voice and humor in writing.

On the retched bus ride home yesterday, my abusive gay boyfriend gave me a black eye. In public no less! ?Just kidding, on so many levels, the first being that he's not my boyfriend. But he really did give me a black eye. It was awesome! I couldn't have planned it better myself. You see what happened, was he [being my very good friend] had been kicked out of his seat by some punk who doesn't appreciate him, so he came and sat by my seat buddy and me. I know, it totally went against the "two to a seat OR LESS!!!" rule, but how could I turn him away? That would be awful of me. As he was sitting by us [I was sammiched in the middle; how delightful...], he happened to hit my left eye area with his elbow, quite forcefully, but completely on accident. After a few tears and a little bit of swelling, I pretty much forgot about it. Until of course I saw my face in a mirror and about went to his house and smacked him for it. How DARE he give me a black eye on the one night I'm going out on the town?! What? Was he trying to make me look like a victim of domestic violence? Was I supposed to be the newest poster child for the Respect campaign encouraging the teaching of respect to men and young boys? Geeze....

So about going out on the town.... Luckily my shiner didn't fully develop, and it was more clandestine than I could have wished for. As we all know, Twilight came out yesterday, and it was pretty much sold out all day, until 10:30 p.m., which is when my friends and I attended it. The theater was packed, even for being the sixth or seventh showing that day. Happily, the audience was well educated [or at least faked it well], and was responsive and respectful to the film. It was really great, because you didn't have idiots that were yelling in the wrong parts, or cry in the wrong parts, ect. The movie itself was flawed, and some of the characters had hideous teeth [it doesn't matter how white they are; if they're not straight and even it's worthless.], but there were considerable hotties with lovely bodies in it. Not to sound cliche but a hottie with a body makes up for a hottie without a lovely body. Yes. I'm vain and shallow in that sense, but only to a certain extent. I mean really, if you're going to a flick, and you're introduced to the image of a person and not the person them self, then why not be completely shallow about it your conception of them? If you were to meet them in reality first, then the same wouldn't apply.

Seeing as this has gone on for way too long, I'll be done by saying that I'm excited that there are only two and a half days of school this week, but not very excited that I have a history test on Monday. Cheers. :D

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