I should preface with saying how ridiculous today really has been.
So... I was running late this morning, by about five minutes. Have I ever mentioned that I am NOT a morning person, in any sense of the word, other than my happy hours are between 10:00 p.m. and 4:00 a.m.? The five minutes that I lost were fine, because I still got to school on time. I just didn't have as amazing hair as I could have. As I was speedwalking to my locker to pick up my first and second class materials, I realize that I'm not carrying my Hello Kitty lunch tin, filled with the amazing lunch my mom always makes me. That would mean a very cranky Melanie by the end of the day, and a very undesirably outcome for the people I interact with. That was only the first straw on my camelish back.
I grabbed my junk, scurried downstairs for my class, and got to about the third stair from the bottom when I totally biffed it. It would have been ok, had I been able to recover quickly. However, that wasn't to be the case. This biff was one of those biff's where you move your feet really quickly to try to get back on course, so you're sort of running, head down; the perfect charge stance. Anywho, so as I realized that I wasn't going to be able to stop very quickly, I emitted a slightly manlike growl that quickly turned into a yodel, that quickly evolved into a gargling mess of a scream. I felt like I was screaming with a mouth full of mouthwash. Try it, it's not that easy. I still hadn't stopped yet, and I was about six feet from the middle of the hallway. At that point, I finally flipped, managed to land on my head [in the same stupid place I got a concussion from ice skating a few months ago dangitt], fling off my dress shoes, and scatter my books from Hell to the china cabinet. In the course of these events, my dress flipped up above my head. Luckily, when I was just chilling on the floor for a bit, I noticed that it was back down.
Happily [or unhappily?] some people walked by a few minutes later that helped me out, gathered my contents, and shooed me off to class. Ironically, I was .000000000000000000000001 seconds late for my first class. My teacher just looked at me with the "Seriously?" look on his face, and then I quickly explained I'd just fallen down the stairs. He seemed to buy it.
The second event was inspired by the wind, and it's uncanny ability to make me feel uncomfortable, in so many ways. I.E. As I was walking in from my off campus class, a perverted gust of wind caught the back of my dress, pulled it up, and showed off my fishnet stockings for me. I suppose it would have been more humorous had there not been a flock of people behind me. Why couldn't it have been that they buffered the wind against my vulnerable backside? Oh well. I will say that I felt very Monroe-esque, and there definitely was NOT an era of good feelings before, during, or after my escapade as Marilyn.
Thankfully, during second period I got a note from the office saying that my mom had dropped off my lunch for me. A Happy turn in the day's events.
I won't say that I went through the day completely unscathed. In fact, I'll venture to say that I even got beat up a little. But as we're reading in my English class, teens and children these days need a little more roughing up in order to be better adults, so I suppose I'm on the road to success. Cheers. :]
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment